How to Get On with Colleagues

Recognising emotional immaturity at work — and helping people (and ourselves) grow.

Emotional Intelligence: The Core of Leadership

In our last blog, Leading with Energy, we explored how great leaders balance four types of energy — physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual — and how emotional intelligence sits at the heart of leadership.

Emotional intelligence isn’t abstract. It’s the daily practice of navigating fear, ego, and uncertainty — our own and others’. It turns awareness into compassion and compassion into progress.

But before we can cultivate maturity, we have to recognise immaturity. What follows are twelve common workplace patterns of emotional immaturity — and how to respond to them constructively.

Recognising and Responding to Emotional Immaturity

#	Emotional Immaturity	Description	Why it Happens	How to Handle	Skills to Develop
1	Defensive Non-Listener	Highly efficient but resistant to feedback; interprets criticism as a threat to self-worth.	Fear of inadequacy; equates being wrong with being unworthy or incompetent.	Model vulnerability; share your own mistakes to normalise learning and reflection.	Self-Awareness, Calm, Confidence, Empathy, Communication
2	Non-Teacher	Frustrated by others’ lack of understanding; avoids explaining and works around colleagues.	Belief that ignorance is weakness; discomfort with teaching as it threatens status.	Normalise not knowing; encourage curiosity and shared problem-solving.	Communication, Empathy, Leadership, Supportiveness
3	People Pleaser	Avoids conflict by agreeing or over-promising; prioritises harmony over honesty.	Low self-confidence; fear of rejection or creating tension.	Reward respectful disagreement; build psychological safety.	Confidence, Adaptability, Diplomacy, Eloquence
4	Paranoia	Interprets delay, exclusion, or silence as personal rejection.	Deep-seated insecurity; expects others to confirm self-doubt.	Offer reassurance through consistency and transparency; challenge misinterpretations gently.	Self-Awareness, Resilience, Calm, Empathy
5	Panickiness	Sees every challenge as catastrophic.	Poor self-soothing; anxiety overwhelms perspective.	Model calmness and perspective; help separate feelings from facts.	Calm, Resilience, Self-Awareness, Supportiveness
6	Naysaying	Resists change or innovation; seeks safety in the status quo.	Fear of failure or exposure; equates control with security.	Celebrate small experiments; frame risk as growth, not danger.	Adaptability, Confidence, Leadership, Resilience
7	Over-Optimism	Avoids realism by assuming all will work out fine.	Avoidance of anxiety; replaces planning with blind faith.	Encourage balanced realism; teach that some anxiety is healthy.	Objectivity, Decisiveness, Adaptability, Resilience
8	Charmlessness	Appears cold or transactional; lacks warmth in relationships.	Social discomfort or undervaluing rapport.	Model curiosity and kindness; show that charm is empathy, not manipulation.	Charm, Empathy, Communication, Supportiveness
9	Procrastination	Avoids key work through busywork.	Perfectionism and fear of failure.	Break tasks into smaller steps; praise effort and progress, not perfection.	Confidence, Resilience, Calm, Self-Awareness
10	Cynicism	Expects disappointment from others; projects pessimism.	Optimism betrayed by past hurt; distrust hardened into protection.	Validate feelings but reframe disappointment; promote balanced realism.	Empathy, Objectivity, Love Thinking, Supportiveness
11	Frankness	Speaks without filter; unaware of emotional impact.	Confuses bluntness with honesty.	Encourage empathy; show that timing and tone improve clarity.	Diplomacy, Empathy, Communication, Self-Awareness
12	Immaturity	Displays dependency, volatility, or mistrust.	Rooted in childhood patterns of inconsistent care or validation.	Build trust through consistency; provide affirmation without indulgence.	Self-Awareness, Confidence, Supportiveness, Resilience

Building an Emotionally Mature Culture

Organisations mature when their people feel safe enough to learn.

Leaders can accelerate that by:

• Normalising difficulty — challenge is not dysfunction.

• Rewarding reflection — curiosity over defensiveness.

• Creating safety — feedback as partnership, not punishment.

• Modelling humility — showing that learning never ends.

Emotional intelligence sits at the centre of leadership energy. In our next piece, Key Emotional Skills for the Workplace, we explore how individuals and organisations can actively develop those abilities — the skills that turn emotional awareness into collective strength.

Emotional maturity begins when we stop trying to win and start trying to understand.